Breaking: World Leaders Have Figured Out Trump’s Love Language is Shiny Things
GYEONGJU, SOUTH KOREA – In what can only be described as “2025’s most on-brand diplomatic moment,” South Korea literally gave President Donald Trump a giant golden crown on Wednesday, and honestly, we don’t even know where to start unpacking this.
- Breaking: World Leaders Have Figured Out Trump’s Love Language is Shiny Things
- The Ceremony (Or: How to Get a Trade Deal in Three Easy Steps)
- The Full Royal Treatment
- Why This is Actually Hilarious (But Also Strategic AF)
- The Context Nobody Wants to Talk About
- Trump’s Historical Crown Obsession
- What the Crown Actually Represents
- The Trade Deal That May or May Not Exist
- The Bigger Picture (Because We Have to Be Serious for a Second)
- The Bottom Line
- What Happens Next?
The Ceremony (Or: How to Get a Trade Deal in Three Easy Steps)
South Korean President Lee Jae Myung presented Trump with a replica of an enormous ancient crown as he made his last stop of a swing through Asia, where leaders have sought to smooth over trade and defense tensions by appealing to the American president’s appreciation of glittering gifts.
But wait, there’s more. The crown wasn’t the only gift, Trump also received a gold medal representing the Grand Order of Mugunghwa, South Korea’s highest civilian honor. Trump is the first US president to ever receive this decoration.
Trump’s response? He said it was “a great honor” and that he “would like to wear it right now”. OF COURSE he wanted to wear it right now.
The Full Royal Treatment
The crown presentation wasn’t even the wildest part of this visit. Upon arrival, Trump was greeted by a military band playing “YMCA,” the Village People classic that’s become a rallying cry of sorts for the president. Yes, you read that correctly. A foreign military band played YMCA for the President of the United States.
President Lee Jae Myung wore a custom-made gold tie to meet Trump (subtle!), and that afternoon Trump was treated to a “gold-themed dessert” during his working lunch with Lee, consisting of gold-adorned brownies and tangerines.
GOLD. ADORNED. BROWNIES. They literally put gold on his dessert. This is not a drill.
Why This is Actually Hilarious (But Also Strategic AF)
Here’s the thing: this isn’t just South Korea being extra. This is a masterclass in diplomatic strategy disguised as pageantry. Asian leaders put on a masterclass in hospitality and flattery as they hosted Trump this week, with one eye on securing vital trade deals to boost economic growth.
The game plan? During his whistle-stop tour of Malaysia, Japan and South Korea, Trump was lavished with praise and showered with gifts including a golf putter and bag, a replica of a historical golden crown and South Korea’s highest civilian honor – as leaders sought to smooth complicated bilateral discussions.
And here’s the kicker: It was a tactic that appears to have worked. Trump departed Asia on Friday, leaving behind some happy hosts, including Japan, which signed trade and minerals deals, and South Korea, which received US approval for a long-held wish to build a nuclear-powered submarine.
They literally gave him a crown and got nuclear submarine approval. THAT’S POWER MOVES.
The Context Nobody Wants to Talk About
Now, before we laugh too hard, let’s acknowledge the elephant in the room: For now, South Korea is stuck with a 25% tariff on automobiles, putting automakers such as Hyundai and Kia at a disadvantage against Japanese and European competitors, which face 15%.
The countries are trying to negotiate. The sticking point has been Trump’s demand for $350 billion of direct investment in the US. Korean officials say putting up cash could destabilize their own economy, and they’d rather offer loans and loan guarantees instead.
So yeah, Trump got a crown, but South Korea is still trying to figure out how to not tank their economy to make him happy. It’s funny until you remember there are actual economic consequences at play.
Trump’s Historical Crown Obsession
Here’s where it gets extra wild: Trump has long likened himself to a king, from waving a ceremonial sword at his inaugural ball in January to posting “LONG LIVE THE KING” on his Truth Social account. Even the White House X account has featured a fake Time magazine-style cover showing Trump wearing a gilded crown.
But also: Trump maintains that he seeks no royal office, telling Fox News this month, “I’m not a king,” and conceding on Wednesday that he is not eligible for a third term, despite musing over the possibility for months.
So he’s NOT a king, but he also wants to wear the crown immediately and has been posting crown content for months. Got it. That’s totally normal and not at all confusing.
What the Crown Actually Represents
In case you’re wondering if this was just random sparkly bribery, there IS actual symbolism here. Lee told Trump: “We present this gold crown to you on this occasion of your state visit because it symbolizes the spirit of Silla, which brought peace to the Korean Peninsula, for the first time, and the opening of the golden age of the Korean-US alliance”.
The crown is a replica from the Silla Kingdom, which existed from 57 BC to 935 AD. So it’s got historical significance and everything. They didn’t just slap some gold paint on a party city crown and call it a day.
The Trade Deal That May or May Not Exist
After all this pageantry, what did we get? Trump said things were “pretty much finalized” and announced that Seoul and Washington had “pretty much” reached a trade deal.
“Pretty much” is doing A LOT of heavy lifting in that sentence. Although both sides said progress has been made, no agreement has been signed yet.
Translation: They gave him a crown, gold brownies, played YMCA, and awarded him the highest honor in the land, and in return they got a “pretty much” on the trade deal. That’s… one way to negotiate.
The Bigger Picture (Because We Have to Be Serious for a Second)
While Trump was being crowned and eating gold brownies, the global economy has for months been roiled by tit-for-tat mounting tariffs, export controls and other penalties, as the US and China have vacillated between escalation and negotiation in their trade war.
Trump was in South Korea for the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) summit, and he’s been trying to secure trade deals throughout his Asia tour. Lee, speaking at the business forum before Trump arrived, warned against trade barriers. “At a time when protectionism and nationalism are on the rise and nations focus on their immediate survival, words like ‘cooperation,’ ‘coexistence’ and ‘inclusive growth’ may sound hollow,” he said. “Yet, paradoxically, it is in times of crisis like this that APEC’s role as a platform for solidarity shines brighter”.
So basically: world leaders are genuinely concerned about trade wars and economic instability, but they’re also willing to stage elaborate crown presentations if that’s what it takes to get a meeting.
The Bottom Line
Look, there’s no way to spin this that doesn’t sound absolutely bonkers. The President of the United States was given a literal golden crown, said he wanted to wear it immediately, ate gold brownies, had YMCA played for him by a foreign military, received the highest civilian honor from another nation, and in return said a trade deal was “pretty much” done.
It’s ridiculous. It’s strategic. It’s diplomatic theater at its finest. It’s proof that world leaders have absolutely figured out Trump’s love language (spoiler: it’s gold and pageantry). And it apparently WORKS, because South Korea got nuclear submarine approval and Japan got trade deals signed.
We’re living in a timeline where international diplomacy involves literal crowns and themed desserts, and honestly? At this point, we’re just along for the ride.
The crown, by the way, is now somewhere in Trump’s possession. One can only imagine where he’s planning to display it. Trump Tower lobby? Mar-a-Lago dining room? Oval Office desk? The possibilities are endless and equally entertaining.
What Happens Next?
Trump’s next big meeting was with Chinese President Xi Jinping, and after the crown incident, everyone’s wondering what China’s going to bring to the table. A jade throne? A golden dragon? The suspense is killing us.
For now, South Korea can rest easy knowing they’ve mastered the art of diplomatic gift-giving in the Trump era: Go big, go gold, and for the love of all that is holy, make sure it’s shiny.
UPDATE: After meeting with Xi Jinping, Trump announced he’s reducing some China tariffs from 20% to 10%, meaning the overall tariff rate for Chinese exports to the US would drop from 57% to 47%. We have no word yet on whether Xi also brought a crown, but clearly something worked.
The moral of this story? In 2025, international diplomacy runs on flattery, gold, and the strategic deployment of ceremonial crowns. Democracy is great and all, but have you considered accessorizing with ancient royal replicas?
